So Adbusters is hawking shoes now. The $60 blackSpot sneaker (which, from the fuzzy illustration on the site, looks a hell of a lot like a ripoff of Chuck Taylors) and its half million dollar advertising campaign are intended to "uncool" Nike and "revolutionize capitalism." Ummm, last time I checked, marketing and selling stuff was just plain old capitalism. The fact that most of your advertising is aimed at bellittling a competitor's product and presenting yours as an "alternative" doesn't change that, and besides, it isn't really all that revolutionary. Adbusters hails the shoes as "the world's first anti-brand," as though Adbusters itself hasn't become just another brand for hipsters to name-drop. Oh yeah, and they're making the shoes in South Korea. Can you say "irony"?

Insultingly Stupid Movie Physics! Here's an excerpt from their review of The Matrix Reloaded: "Liberated humans live in a vast underground complex called Zion, complete with elaborate life support systems for air, food, and water. Undoubtedly, these consume vast quantities of energy. So, why are the machines using people as batteries? It seems like they should simply tap into Zion's power grid."

In case you've been wondering what ever happened to Yakov Smirnoff, apparently he's been performing at his very own theatre in the Ozarks for the past ten years. The show includes juggling, "unique insights into life, family, and these United States" and the What A Country Dancers. All for the low low price of $30 (US). Can you think of a better reason to visit Branson, Missouri?

This article from Stay Free magazine, while fairly dated, gets at some of the reasons why I stopped reading Adbusters.

God bless The Onion.

Live celebrity phone calls! For the low, low price of $19.95, you or a friend could receive a 15-30 second phone call from your choice of such genuine C-list celebrities as Lorenzo Lamas, Lou Ferrigno, Todd Bridges, Christopher Atkins (am I the only one that remembers The Pirate Movie?), and Richard Hatch, winner of the first Survivor. OK, maybe D-list. "How is Hollywood Is Calling able to get celebrities to participate in this service at such affordable prices? The vast majority of our celebrities are not motivated by financial reasons when it comes to this project. Their extraordinary achievements have made them tremendously popular all across the globe and they believe that our patented new service is a great way for them to stay in touch with their growing fan base." Yeah, like Todd Bridges doesn't need the money.

Omar Sharif, also known as Dr. Zhivago and Lawrence of Arabia, was fined 1500 euros and given a one-month suspended sentence for headbutting a policeman in a casino in Paris.

So I finally managed to fix my fucked-up archives. Yay new Blogger support system!

Spam fight!

Just in case working the metal detectors at the airport wasn't a strange enough job...

I don't get it. How the hell do you make a salad while driving? Did he have a little cutting board and a salad spinner on the passenger seat, and a box of croutons stored in the glove compartment? And where the hell did he plug in the crockpot? They say the number of incidents has dropped by two-thirds since the OPP started their cottage patrol. Clearly it's the stupidest third of the population that they're still catching - people who can't think of a better excuse than, "It's not my fault officer, this car just goes too fast!" or "But it's an emergency, I'm late for a hair appointment."