Consumer correspondence

This is an amusing collection of one man's letters of praise to companies and the form responses he receives. Here's a sample:

Dear Slim Jim,

First of all, I want to say that I appreciate Slim Jim's unconventional attitude and distinctive beefy taste. Whether you're craving a meat stick or some good old-fashioned jerky, Slim Jim has both! Yes!

My question is this: How many Slim Jims do you make each year? Probably a lot, huh?

Stay extreme!

All the best,

Tom

Memoirs of a Chinese Geisha

The director of the new US film Memoirs of a Geisha is taking a lot of heat for casting Chinese actresses Zhang Ziyi, Gong Li and Michelle Yeoh as Japanese women. (I guess Maggie Cheung was busy?) His defense: they were cast "because of their acting ability and star power, not their race." So, if you were casting this movie based on acting ability and star power, and race wasn't a consideration, why didn't you consider Reese Witherspoon and Hilary Swank for the lead roles? Because you figured that most people would notice that was weird, whereas your average North American moviegoer wouldn't notice the difference between Chinese and Japanese. It's all Asian. Close enough.

I'm not saying that I have a problem with casting against race per se. Lou Diamond Phillips has made a whole career out of being the all-purpose brown guy. But just admit that you cast them because they were close enough to be believable rather than claiming that race wasn't a factor.

Big brain means small testes

Well, in bats anyway. Since both organs require a lot of energy to grow and maintain, it seems that bat species have evolved a brains vs. testicles approach depending on how promiscuous their females are. When there's competition to fertilize eggs, big testicles win out over big brains.

Rest in peace, Wendie Jo Sperber.

It's a sad, sad day

Valerie Bertinelli has filed for divorce from Eddie Van Halen. And thus ends one of the great love stories of our time.

The capital of Nunavut is not an emergency

How stupid do you have to be to call 911 asking for directions, weather reports or geographical trivia? I'm not all that surprised that people call 911 for non-emergencies where they actually should be calling their local police department - hey, at least they grasp the concept that 911 is associated with the police - but calling 911 to get the bus schedule is just mind-bogglingly stupid.

More iPod costumes

If you thought the Halloween costumes for iPods were cute, check out the new Christmas collection.

Springfield returns

Rick Springfield returned to 'General Hospital' on Friday to reprise his role as Dr. Noah Drake, neurosurgeon. I guess that music career kind of peaked at Jessie's Girl, huh Rick?

Rest in peace, Arnold/Mr. Miyagi. You too, Stan Berenstain.