A five year-old girl in Australia showed her class how to make a bong out of a Coke bottle for show-and-tell.

If anyone is wondering what to get me for my birthday, how about a $1600 clock? I know it's a little expensive, but really, take a look at the last one, the Airway Table Clock. Isn't that the sexiest clock you've ever seen?

The World Beard and Moustache Championships are coming to the United States for the first time ever this November. Moustache categories include Dali, Wild West, Fu Manchu, Freestyle, and Natural, for which no styling aids are permitted. Partial beards are eligible, as well as full beards. Apparently there are beard and moustache clubs in Germany, but sadly, there don't seem to be any in Canada.

Goddamn, that's a lot of corn.

Rest in peace, Big Guy.

Apparently rocket science is best left to, well, rocket scientists.

An open letter to President Bush from Max Cleland, former U.S. Senator and Vietnam veteran, about the war in Iraq: "Welcome to Vietnam, Mr. President. Sorry you didn't go when you had the chance."

Here's a nice little bedtime story for the kids. There was this idiot in Quebec (let's call him Jerkface) who decided that a black bear would make a good pet, so he hopped on his Jet Ski and kidnapped a six month old bear cub that was swimming in the Gatineau River a few feet away from it's mother. To tire the cub out so it wouldn't fight back, Jerkface ran it over with the Jet Ski a few times and then held it by the leg and repeatedly dunked it under water. Then, thinking that a bear riding a Jet Ski would make a great photo for the local paper, Jerkface rode over to a public landing, where several passersby promptly called police and the local wildlife protection squad. If there was any justice in the world, the mother bear would have tracked Jerkface down, mauled him, and made him a prime candidate for this year's Darwin Awards. But instead, it's unlikely he'll get more than a $2000 fine, he says he'd do it again given the chance, and the poor cub is now an orphan. And that's why Canada needs stronger animal cruelty laws.

Oh yeah, I have a blog. I almost forgot about that. Oh well, it's not like anyone's reading this anyway...

Wanna save a few bucks on travel? Why not ship yourself in a cargo crate like this idiot?

Here is a cool article about Canada that recently appeared in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. It's nice to feel appreciated, as opposed to being called America's enemy. (Thanks, David.)

The average cow in Europe receives $2.50 per day in agricultural subsidies. In Japan, it's $7.50 per day. To put that in perspective, half the world's population lives on less than $2 per day. Stop and think about that for a minute.

Stephen Harper is an idiot.